someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
