I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
