Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
