i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
