You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
