i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
