Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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