She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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