whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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