haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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