He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
