sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
