she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
