there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
