What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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