writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
