I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
