this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
