It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
