I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
