I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
