Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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