Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
