Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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