i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
