That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
