last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
