he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
