There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
