You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
