Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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