this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
