We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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