he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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