On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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