I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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