It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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