Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize