dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
God, I missed his penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize