doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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