If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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