did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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