beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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