it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
