Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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