FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
