id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
