Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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