my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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