We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
