I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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