My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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