bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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