I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
