You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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