Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
