I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
