He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
