? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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