In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
