spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
