Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
