Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
