2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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