I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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